Afro Santa

what da hell is dat up in the sky?

it’s Afro Santa –

naw, you lie!

you mean you nevuh heard of Afro Santa?
fat dark-skinned dude, ass bigger ‘n Montana?

man, ah nevah heard ‘bout dis
ah think you’re tryin’ to take the piss

check this homie – have some gin & Fanta
while ah hip you to the tale of Afro Santa

like most a da brothas,
he grew up in the projects
jammin’ to Sugar Hill & readin’ Malcolm X
in class he always played the fool
‘n that shit got him kicked outa school
what he really liked to do was eat
which he did, til he couldn’t see his feet
his daddy said, ‘you greedy louse!’
then his momma put him out da house
fat boy cold felt like a jerk
so he tried to find some work
he worked awhile for Burger King
but they fired him fo’ eatin’ everything
at MickeyDs he tried burger flippin’
but the floors wuz too greasy ‘n he kept trippin’
then one day he had a ideah
to hisself he sez, ‘Christmas is almos’ heah
the thing po’ kids in the hood really lack
is a Santy Claus like them, one who’s black’

so he pawned his possessions to get some loot
bought a black Navigator an’ a Santy Claus suit
but dude (whose name wuz Chris) forgot he couldn’t fly
so over his dinner of KFC he had a good cry
as he cried in his chicken an’ various dishes
there appeared a homeless bum who promised three wishes
said the bum, ‘I’ll give you anything,
if you’ll share with me just one chicken wing’
Chris gave up the food, n’ soon he was singin’
in his black Navigator thru the skies he was wingin’!
now every year po’ folks gets their heart’s desire
from Afro Santa in his Navigator that belches green fire

man, to hell with Afro Santa –
you got any more of that gin & Fanta?

copyright © 2007-2014 KPM

Afro Santa

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another Christmas with you

your presents are all wrapped
the flat is spankin’ clean
decorated with tinsel
of sparkly red ‘n green
I’m so excited I dunno what to do
at the thought of another Christmas with you

the fridge ‘n freezer is full
with all your favorite food
Christmas Eve I’ll make some eggnog
to get us both in the Christmas mood
I’m so excited I dunno what to do
at the thought of another Christmas with you

sometimes I can’t help but feel
you’re a man I’m undeserving of
‘specially when you make that face
as I try to declare my love
an’ you blush whenever I tell you
you’re my miracle from above
but in the end it matters not
cause to my heart you hold the key
you know you’re all that matters to me

got my nails manicured
my hair is newly done
hopin’ that to you I’ll be
a vision that will stun
I’m so excited I dunno what to do
I get to spend another Christmas with you

copyright © 2014 KPM

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the house in Aberdeen

there’s a house in Aberdeen that’s dressed for Christmas:
with fake snow in the yard – man, how cool is that!
& a snowman in a red Santy Claus hat
a giant Grinch sits in a rockin’ chair
& a voice sweetly sings “I’m walkin’ thru the air…”

there’s a house in Aberdeen that’s dressed for Christmas:
on the pavement out in front a dog goes ‘woof!
think he’s barkin’ at the mammoth Santa up on the roof
all the windows are ablaze with tiny twinklin’ lights
there’s even a huge toy soldier resplendent in dress whites

there’s a house in Aberdeen that’s dressed for Christmas:
gaily coloured gift boxes are scattered around the yard
& at the bottom of the steps sits a huge Christmas card
I wish that I could go inside & share their celebrations
but it’s enough to know I’m loved as I enjoy their decorations

copyright © 2010-2014 KPM

house in Aberdeen

city centre, Dundee

the city centre’s all shrouded in mist
it’s struggling to awake
the tops of church spires by clouds are kissed
the damp chill makes me shake

rowdy schoolboys chase giggling girls
a newsman sets up in the square
all the streetlamps shine like pearls
as cold wind caresses my hair

my heels click on the cobblestones
while I dig in my leather bag
I hear two competing mobile phones
as I light up my first fag

the Christmas lights shine brightly
Debenhams has a temptin’ display
but I’m skint so I skip past it –
no shoppin’ for me today!

copyright © 2007-2014 KPM

angels in mah house

dark of eyes
an’ dark of face
six angels smile
from dey customary place

dearly do ah love
this long ago Christmas gift
six tiny angels
dey always give mah soul a lift

asexual dey are
neither girl nor boy
but dey gender matters not
for dey presence brings me joy

two angels clutch dey hymnals
eyes raised toward da sky
obedient little tots
wit God’s will dey do comply

da other angels make heavenly music:
wit cello, accordion, trumpet & flute
such sounds ah’ve never heard
so lovely ah’m rendered mute

but da angel ah love da most
is da cellist, who also sings
fo’ dis is a fallen angel
you can tell by da broken wings

copyright © 2012-2014 KPM
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