Afro Santa

what da hell is dat up in the sky?

it’s Afro Santa –

naw, you lie!

you mean you nevuh heard of Afro Santa?
fat dark-skinned dude, ass bigger ‘n Montana?

man, ah nevah heard ‘bout dis
ah think you’re tryin’ to take the piss

check this homie – have some gin & Fanta
while ah hip you to the tale of Afro Santa

like most a da brothas,
he grew up in the projects
jammin’ to Sugar Hill & readin’ Malcolm X
in class he always played the fool
‘n that shit got him kicked outa school
what he really liked to do was eat
which he did, til he couldn’t see his feet
his daddy said, ‘you greedy louse!’
then his momma put him out da house
fat boy cold felt like a jerk
so he tried to find some work
he worked awhile for Burger King
but they fired him fo’ eatin’ everything
at MickeyDs he tried burger flippin’
but the floors wuz too greasy ‘n he kept trippin’
then one day he had a ideah
to hisself he sez, ‘Christmas is almos’ heah
the thing po’ kids in the hood really lack
is a Santy Claus like them, one who’s black’

so he pawned his possessions to get some loot
bought a black Navigator an’ a Santy Claus suit
but dude (whose name wuz Chris) forgot he couldn’t fly
so over his dinner of KFC he had a good cry
as he cried in his chicken an’ various dishes
there appeared a homeless bum who promised three wishes
said the bum, ‘I’ll give you anything,
if you’ll share with me just one chicken wing’
Chris gave up the food, n’ soon he was singin’
in his black Navigator thru the skies he was wingin’!
now every year po’ folks gets their heart’s desire
from Afro Santa in his Navigator that belches green fire

man, to hell with Afro Santa –
you got any more of that gin & Fanta?

copyright © 2007-2014 KPM

Afro Santa

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