We’re four days into this New Year. The sky outside my living room window is grey and heavy with clouds; behind me, outside my kitchen window, the sky above my wee garden is that shade of blue that can only be found in Dundee, with shafts of bright sunlight illuminating the cloud shapes.
The flat is still and clean. I have the TV on for company. My fish swim gaily in their watery home, indifferent to the outside world. In keeping with my love of order, I cleaned the flat thoroughly the day after New Year’s, taking down all the Christmas decorations and storing them in the loft for another year (the tree came down on 30th December in keeping with my culture’s superstition that it is bad luck to leave the tree up into the New Year – if you leave it up, you’ll drag all the bad shit from the old year into the new year with you). I did allow myself two small indulgences: I decided this year to leave the Christmas wreath on my door until Epiphany, and I kept the poinsettia plant my partner gave me, as it’s still perfectly healthy and anyone who knows me knows I love plants.
I feel calm and peaceful…even happy, though I am still unemployed. Somehow, all the angst and anxiety and stress I felt over that situation has magically vanished. I continue to submit applications online, and I have two interviews scheduled over the next two weeks. Most importantly, realising that I have a wealth of skills, I made a huge leap and went into business for myself as a free-lance writer and editor. I have registered the business with HMRC and am joyously looking forward to receiving my first client.
This profound change in attitude and general outlook has been going on for a fortnight now. I don’t know where it came from – perhaps God has granted me His strength and His favour. I only know that I feel an unexplainable joy – I am certain that everything will soon be resolved for the good and for the first time in well over a decade, I am at peace with everything.
I wish all the followers of my blog a Happy New Year. May you all enjoy good health, the absence of monetary worries and much love.