she lives in hope

I wish I knew if others
were like me:
haunted, chased
by memory

slain by a smell that triggers
images of a past wrong
battling tears when the DJ
innocently plays that song

surely there are other
wounded souls like me
seeking a better future
as past wreckage they flee

I try my best to be happy
it’s not an impossible task
& I don’t want your false acceptance –
I don’t need it, nor will I ask

I know I’m not the only one
in life to feel this way
luckily I’m not alone
as I head toward a better day

copyright © 2016 KPM

she-lives-in-hope

 

disillusioned

well I’ll be damned
what’s this I see?
dissension in the church
just don’t seem right to me

the flower arrangers can’t decide
if they should accept the flowers
donated by the bride

the volunteers who do
the coffee & the tea
are havin’ a mad hair-pullin’ spree

the cleaners is all upset
they get mad, makes ‘em nervous
such a mess left behind after every service!

the vestry is snide
gossip runs rife
this stuff is spoilin’ my religious life

do the angels fight in heaven?
Ariel & Metatron?
Jesus would weep to see what’s goin’ on

this is not how things
is sposed to be
surely this is not Christianity

I’m losin’ my religion
I’m sad & kinda pissed
when did the love vanish?
perhaps I’ll join the atheists!

copyright © 2015 KPM

disillusioned

faith reborn

she’s lain in the cut so long, too long
pierced by life’s cruellest prong
& though she’s repented of all wrong
overwhelmed she remains by the Evil One’s throng

hidden between the jokes
& the nightmares that hold reign
lie kernels of reality
truths wrapped in pain

in the depths of desperation,
she sometimes thinks “how will I cope?”
then Jesus in his mercy
opens arms that offer hope

with the help of the angels
God’s supporting players
upright she stands
before the naysayers

she’s escaped the cut she’s lain in for so long, too long
redemption has been granted for her every wrong
& defeated are the demons sent by Satan’s throng
as she utters words of praise in a joyful song

copyright © 2014 KPM

faith reborn pic

dwellin’ in da house of da Lord

so ah’m dwellin’ in da house of da Lord
an’ its way more expensive ‘n anythin’ ah kin afford
cuz Gawd likes ta crack dat whip
a lotta stuff from you He’ll ask
but I’se weak – I’se jes’ a sinner
ain’t shore I’se up to dis task

yeah, ah’m dwellin’ in da house of da Lord
where mah alarm system consists of Gabriel’s sword
Gawd needs ta be da only love
an’ He’ll take care o’ all yo’ wants
if you’ll jes’ break free
from yo’ past an’ all its haunts

praise Jesus, now ah live I da house of da Lord
where deep in mah soul ah kin feel Mercy’s chord
ah’m a child o’ Gawd now –
no longer will ah chafe
from hell’s temptation,
ah’m forever safe

copyright © 2014 KPM

houseofdalord pic

The Believer

Once there was a girl who believed in God. She wasn’t exactly raised in the church (though her Mom did her best to take her and her siblings to church and Sunday school when she could), but she believed a higher power existed: God, Gaia, Buddha – pick your flavour. Much like John Irving’s Owen Meany, she believed there was a reason she’d been put on the planet – there was a reason she’d been born, there was a reason for her existence. And along with her belief in the deity, the girl fervently believed in herself and her abilities, which she readily admitted this higher power had bestowed upon her.

And so the girl grew into a woman. Secure in the belief of this higher power and confident in her abilities, she amassed awards, certificates and diplomas. She worked hard, acquiring those material things that all humans long for as proof of their success: a lovely car, a home filled with beautiful things, a closet full of shoes with matching handbags and clothes to die for.  She had a good job, a freezer full of food, her health, friends, someone to love who loved her back and money in the bank.

And as she grew older, one by one these things were taken away – and “taken away” was how she thought of it – not once did she attribute her losses to wrong decisions she had might have made, or even the thought that the God she believed in had decided that it was time for her to do something else and that’s was these losses were about: putting her in a position where she could move into a better place.

She lost faith: in God, not in herself. And although she eventually recouped all she had lost (apart from the person she’d loved), for many years, she would tick the box marked “no religious beliefs”.