a girl can dream

I have this fantasy
of you & me
in a little home
on the edge of the North Sea

in the winter months
we’re bound to get some chills
but we’re happy in our house
nestled by the Scottish hills

it’ll have spacious rooms
& ceilings high
& a skylight above the bed
so we can see the night sky

& when it’s time to cook
we both pitch in
in our proper
country kitchen

we’ll be lucky enough
that we can both work from home
& at night we’re lulled to sleep
by the sound of sea foam

it’s saved me
this fantasy
& one day we’ll get it,
our home by the North Sea

copyright © 2017 KPM

ghosts

they’re relentless, those ghosts
oft unwelcome by their hosts
but she doesn’t mind:
calls them all by their names
puts their faces on display
in expensive photo frames

these ghosts are often cruel
they break every rule
but she deals with it:
when they kick down her door
she quickly repairs it –
just another household chore

her ghosts are resolute
never are they mute
but she no longer cares:
she knows how to carry on
one foot in front of the other
until they’ve all gone

copyright © 2017 KPM

helpless

once again last night
(though I didn’t want to)
my subconscious betrayed me:
sending me a dream of you
it dragged me, unwilling
back into the past
the bitter ending of a love
I was so sure would last

growing older brings more
than the unexplained ache
it brings unwelcome memories
scenes I’d rather forsake
I have moved on with my life
travelling rocky & joyous ground
yet the ghost of you
persists in hangin’ around

your death nigh destroyed me
deep depression I’ve endured
clawing my way out of darkness
I’ve grown & I’ve matured
I’ve learned how to bend
with wind that blows through summer grass
Corinthians was correct in saying
“this too shall pass”

perhaps I didn’t love you
in the way you thought I should
maybe that causes these dreams
(to be fair, some are good)
I’ll always love you in my way
but a better man I have found
so please, be happy for me
sleep well beneath your burial mound

copyright © 2016 KPM

helpless

dreams under the duvet

come back to me, my baby
let’s do this over, please
cause now that we’re both older
this shit’ll be a breeze

you will not get jealous
our life won’t be so fraught
an’ I won’t be so angry
cause you’ll have my back the way you ought

come back to me, my darlin’
let’s do this again, please
we can be more together
than frozen carrots ‘n peas

I swear I’ll make an effort
to be more spontaneous
‘n we’ll dispense with all the crap –
those peeps who’re extraneous

come back to me, my sweetheart
let’s try this again, please
we’ll get it right this time
we’ll live ‘n love with perfect ease

you can come home at night
instead of hauntin’ all the bars
‘n Sundays we’ll lie late in bed
soothin’ each other’s scars

‘s time to come home, baby
I’m standin’ by the gate
we can do this over
love should not have to wait

copyright © 2016 KPM

dreams under the duvet

it never goes away

disquiet rides in
on the pale horse of dreams
cantering amongst moonbeams
impervious to the screams
of the nightmare tossed

despair saunters in
with a flirtatious dance
staying awhile to dance
offering no hope or chance
to the many lost

death stalks in
eyes burning fever bright
looking neither left nor right
an oft blessed blight
if one cares naught about the cost

copyright © 2015 KPM

it never goes away

in a happy place

she saw him from afar
grinning madly as he played guitar
in some hole-in-the-wall bar

he didn’t see her
as she slunk like a cur
through the crowd’s insistent purr

he looked like a bum – he’d never dressed very snappy
still, he looked happy

as tiny as a tomb
yet crowded was the room
where sad souls swayed in Marlboro gloom

suffused by infernal heat
enthralled by the beat
right up front she found a seat

some folks in the audience were loud – rather yappy
yet he looked happy

onstage, his band resembled lords
drums so loud they rattled floorboards
he winked at her as he ran through the chords

pleased she was by this secret glance
signalling as it did another chance
rising, for him did her special dance

he played, he smiled – she no longer felt crappy
grateful to have proof that he was happy

copyright © 2014 KPM

in a happy place

atonement’s nightmare

on a dank, dark street corner
crowded with grimy buildings high
a dreamer stands uncertainly
beneath a threatening sky

shadow figures pass her
with casual malice they do stare
an evil wind spits gritty tears
that settles on her perfect hair

she can’t remember where she’s been
or where it is she’s going to
she thinks she’s meant to meet someone
though she’s not sure this is true

a drop of rain assaults her cheek
just before the man appears
with a cry, he clasps her knees
his upturned face is wet with tears

his voice reeks with anguish
as he recounts a hateful tale
of a love he did betray
and a woman he did fail

the dreamer is appalled
yet she is touched by his remorse
her kiss is a benediction
allowing nature to take its course

their bodies battle time
pores secreting bloody sweat
she seeks the one she loved & lost
he vainly tries to escape regret

a roar of thunder coincides
with an orgasm to shatter stone
and as the dreamer fades away
the man learns again he can never atone

copyright © 2014 KPM

atonement

awake & asleep

each other’s quirks
& flaws
they do not mind
by mutual likes
& honest love
they are now entwined

both of them are pleased
that they laugh
instead of fight
they’re old enough
to realize
that compromising’s always right

& they both
have their secrets
both own an angst-filled past
yet they manage
to share everything
this makes them strong enough to last

falling asleep opens the door
he waits for the moment
she starts to snore
nightly he crosses
the sacred breach
desperate for the heart he can no longer reach

asleep, she lives again
in the house
on Milverton Road
where her dreams
as well as her love
was a painful load

dreaming,
she’s forced to fight
for the right to simply be
asleep, she begs again
for her right
to be free

copyright © 2014 KPM

awake & asleep

here be dreams

beneath the green shade she lay
mullin’ over the events of yet another day
attuned for Morpheus’ bittersweet lie
as she listens to the seagulls cry

beneath the green shade all is cozy & warm
sandy walls shakin’ with the thunderstorm
once more she waits for Hypnos to tell her why
she finds comfort in the seagulls cry

beneath the green shade she is safe & at peace
sure that her happiness will only increase
the Oneiroi will appear by & by
echoin’ the seagulls’ cry

copyright © 2014 KPM

here be dreams

before dawn

on Thursday nights in bed, I think only of tomorrow
Friday being the one day I’m guaranteed to feel no sorrow
so I cozy up to Eeyore, arrange the pillow beneath my head
& heave a sigh of relief at being safe in my big bed

but once I fall asleep, something happens to me inside
my subconscious always takes me on the wildest ride
yeah, once I fall asleep, I lose the boundaries of home
in familiar but contradictory country I am sent to roam

at Dousha’s old house I walk through the open front door
the rooms & hallways are endless; they’re nothing like before
in the formal dining room are twin girls with bright red hair
though I’m stunned to see them, they act like they’ve always been there

they hurl themselves at my bare legs, planting kisses on my thighs
one of these girls looks “normal”, but the other has funny eyes
they clamor for my attention, but just one twin do I understand
the other twin speaks thickly, as if her words she can’t command

anyway, I hug them both, because they seem to know me
plus I’m curious – they claim there’s something they must show me
yet I cannot overcome the feeling of impending doom
& my feet are heavy as they drag me to the old guest room

a woman cries out behind me, & the twins both fade away
from the room I stand before I hear a guitar begin to play
my legs have turned to water – suddenly I feel fatigued
yet & still I go inside, cause I’m totally intrigued

he lies naked on the bed, the guitar barely covering his dick
Judy’s “man that got away” – the one whose death made me so sick
he looks just the way he used to – golden skinned with piercing eyes
& he’s laughing – damn him! – at my obvious surprise

“C’mere,” he says grinning, & pats the space beside him on the bed
I readily acquiesce (cause I always followed wherever he led)
as soon as I’m beside him, he lays the guitar on the floor
soon I’m naked in his arms – I’m a trusting 19 once more

“Bet ya miss me,” he whispers, his tongue invading my ear
“Bet ya learned that I was right – my soul is always near
Did ya think ya could escape? All too true was my decree:
Forever you’ll be mine, way beyond eternity.”

I dearly long to protest, but somehow I’ve lost my voice
& when he leads me to the kitchen, I follow – I’ve no choice!
in the kitchen he hands me a paintbrush, his big brown eyes mad with glee
& on the walls we paint scenes of gross depravity

magnum opus now completed, he fucks me yet again
we both scream through the saliva that’s sliding down my chin
the assault on my body was endless, twilight bathes the defaced room
so I grab my clothes & flee – my soul I can’t let him consume

in the driveway is a car – a Cadillac ragtop
sobbing with fear, over the door I nimbly hop
I am filled with questions: there’s no key…how do I drive?
but the car spirits me away, & I’m so thankful I’m still alive

my hands are on the wheel, but the car goes where it wants
passing people & places best forgotten, & all my other old haunts
at the corner of Hayden & Euclid I crash into a rock
when I awake, my head is sore, but from the crash, or the alarm clock?

copyright © 2012-2014 KPM

before dawn pic