confusion

why are you silent, Lord?
why do you not speak?
I’m in need of words of wisdom
for havoc Satan wants to wreak

confusion rules my heart
my brain is full of static
soothe my soul, I beg you
save me from actions erratic

are you listening, Lord?
do you hear your child’s plea?
can you not send some kinda sign –
let me know you’re hearing me?

for grief-riddled I am
plagued by homesickness & loss
& yet the River Jordan
I’m not quite ready to cross

thus I pray to you, O Lord
as I gaze on the sky so blue
speak to me, O Saviour
tell me what you’d have me do

copyright © 2017 KPM

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entreaty at 2am

give her back
Lord please, hit <rewind>
take me back to another time
to when my Mom was still alive
& I could pull my little car into the drive
to see her standin’ on the front porch

do me this favour
Lord, send me back to before
I need to see my Momma open that front door
wanna hear the way her footsteps beat
voice floatin’ behind her “baby, you want sumthin to eat?”
cause I can’t carry this torch

I won’t ask for nothin’ else
Lord, just rectify this mistake
can’t bear the thought she’s gone…endlessly I shake
I need my Mom back, to quiet my fears
to dry my brother & sisters tears
cause my heart’s broke & my skin is scorched

copyright © 2017 KPM

untenable

she wants to believe in miracles
some folks think that’s odd
firmly rooted in their realities
as she listens for the voice of God

but lately God’s been silent
His/Her mercy is not there
thus she sits, chain-smoking,
refusing to cry in her lovely lair

many have been her troubles
& she knows she’s not the only one
this knowledge brings no comfort
as she watches another rising sun

a list of blessings she has made:
food in the fridge & a good man’s love
yet she can’t help but feel let down
by whoever’s runnin’ things above

each day she grows more anxious
the simplest task is now a strain
& darkness overwhelms her
on those long nights filled with pain

the holy lifeline is no more
heaven has closed it gates
is this meant to teach her patience?
she wonders, & she waits

copyright © 2015 KPM

off_the_hook_by_tfavretto-d1qy9yo

the truth will out

she never longed to be a mother
though once she dreamed of being a wife
all too soon she learned
that love was a double-edged knife

you give someone your everything
devote your heart ‘n soul
to end up feelin’ like a misfit –
wife is not your proper role

so you focus on your career
lotsa certificates on your study wall
only to find out you’re expendable –
your employer cares for you not at all

you keep tryin’ hard to move forward
cause that’s what you always do
only to suffocate in snot ‘n saltwater
even God has abandoned you

now forward motion is the dream
as your feet are stuck to a hopeless path
everything everywhere ends
targets for a laughin’ God’s wrath

copyright © 2015 KPM

the truth will out

forsaken

Lord,
I am not strong enough
for this new song you want me to sing
an’ today I’ve lost my faith again
so songs don’ mean a thing

to me
the child you’ve abandoned
the child with whom you’ve toyed
the child you’ve walked away from
the child who feels destroyed

Holy Spirit,
I’ve done my best
on arthritic knees I’ve prayed
I’ve tried to be a good person
yet my hopes ‘n dreams you’ve slayed

right now
I feel bereft
I feel like your love has left
I feel like I’ve been forsaken
once more my heart is breakin’

Gentle Jesus,
my heart ’n soul you read
‘n I want to believe you’re still there
hear me in this time of deepest need
show me that you’re always there

copyright © 2015 KPM

forsaken

exiles in the land of Nod

okay,
so Mary Magdalene was a whore
but if it’s true that God made everything,
then He made our bodies:
He opened lust’s door

apostle to the apostles
defamed as a lowlife cur
she was a tower an’ a fortress
an’ I know
my Lord loved her

yep,
Jezebel an’ Delilah
messed up royal
but my Lord overlooked this
to forgiveness He was loyal

both women were strong
yet by love they were brought low
one can discover
for oneself
what historians have failed to show

each sunrise we awake
in awe an’ fear of the living God
only to accept
by sunset
our return to worm-filled sod

‘s true: nobody’s perfect
we’ve all fallen short of God
we all of us
are sinners
exiles in the land of Nod

copyright © 2014 KPM

LandOfNodImage

crystalline dreams

miles above her
in the vastness of space
the Man In The Moon
smiles serenely at her face
singling her out
from the night-time crowds
as Perseus & Andromeda
dance amongst the clouds

miles above her
in God’s holy heaven
Gabriel starts to play his horn
at the stroke of eleven
& the archangel Michael
stretches forth his golden lance
as the cherubim & seraphim
joyously begin to dance

still confined to earth
the Princess Poet smiles
her Chinese calligraphy pen
constructing alphabet aisles
secure in the knowledge
that nothing is what it seems
comforted by glass walls
& crystalline dreams

copyright © 2014 KPM

crystalline dreams pic

dwellin’ in da house of da Lord

so ah’m dwellin’ in da house of da Lord
an’ its way more expensive ‘n anythin’ ah kin afford
cuz Gawd likes ta crack dat whip
a lotta stuff from you He’ll ask
but I’se weak – I’se jes’ a sinner
ain’t shore I’se up to dis task

yeah, ah’m dwellin’ in da house of da Lord
where mah alarm system consists of Gabriel’s sword
Gawd needs ta be da only love
an’ He’ll take care o’ all yo’ wants
if you’ll jes’ break free
from yo’ past an’ all its haunts

praise Jesus, now ah live I da house of da Lord
where deep in mah soul ah kin feel Mercy’s chord
ah’m a child o’ Gawd now –
no longer will ah chafe
from hell’s temptation,
ah’m forever safe

copyright © 2014 KPM

houseofdalord pic

urgent

ashamed
afraid to show her face
she’s drowning
in a deep dark place
Lord,
she needs your grace
O Lord,
bestow on her your grace

terrified
of the numbers that dwindle
frightened
of hopes that refuse to rekindle
Lord,
she needs your peace
O Lord,
grant her your peace

downhearted
as all she’s worked for disappears
depressed & dispirited
she cries endless tears
Lord,
she needs your love
O Lord,
show her your love

copyright © 2014 KPM

urgent pic

The Believer

Once there was a girl who believed in God. She wasn’t exactly raised in the church (though her Mom did her best to take her and her siblings to church and Sunday school when she could), but she believed a higher power existed: God, Gaia, Buddha – pick your flavour. Much like John Irving’s Owen Meany, she believed there was a reason she’d been put on the planet – there was a reason she’d been born, there was a reason for her existence. And along with her belief in the deity, the girl fervently believed in herself and her abilities, which she readily admitted this higher power had bestowed upon her.

And so the girl grew into a woman. Secure in the belief of this higher power and confident in her abilities, she amassed awards, certificates and diplomas. She worked hard, acquiring those material things that all humans long for as proof of their success: a lovely car, a home filled with beautiful things, a closet full of shoes with matching handbags and clothes to die for.  She had a good job, a freezer full of food, her health, friends, someone to love who loved her back and money in the bank.

And as she grew older, one by one these things were taken away – and “taken away” was how she thought of it – not once did she attribute her losses to wrong decisions she had might have made, or even the thought that the God she believed in had decided that it was time for her to do something else and that’s was these losses were about: putting her in a position where she could move into a better place.

She lost faith: in God, not in herself. And although she eventually recouped all she had lost (apart from the person she’d loved), for many years, she would tick the box marked “no religious beliefs”.