on the A92

the sun came out
once we hit the A92
light that kicked aside the clouds
suspended in a sky of blue

in rolling fields
sat scattered hay bales
tenement blocks
housing spiders & snails

cottages hug the road
adorned with wild flowers
emerald hills glisten
from an early morning shower

a lone motorcyclist
rides into the wind
along the horizon
turbines lazily spin

so many times
we’ve cruised the A92
so many memories
of me & you

copyright © 2017 KPM

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swappin’

right now, shit is complicated
cuz I’m bearin’ a heavy load
makes it hard for me ta decide
if it’s time for me ta hit the road

this country – this man I love
they’d both be hard to leave
& if I give them up
is it just because I grieve?

mah Daddy is long dead
& now, so is my Mother
yet there’s family that love me
I’ve two sisters & a brother

long ago I left them
for a love I thought would never die
more fool me,
cuz that turned out to be a lie

now that my beloved Mother
has been laid to rest
I’m thinkin’ I shoulda stayed
with those who loved & knew me best

that said, leaving Scotland
would make me unbearably sad
for the life I’ve constructed here
has not been all bad

my heart, my brain burn
lit by the consciousness molotov
I struggle with reality:
all life is a trade-off

copyright © 2017 KPM

deciphering the message

when I stepped into the garden
church bells began to ring
was that the sign I’d asked for
did it mean anything?

would I now be suffused with
a faith I could not doubt?
would my tears be replaced
by a triumphant shout?

when I stepped into the garden
when those bells began to chime
was that a divine message
that I’d be rescued one more time?

would I now be granted
a glimpse into that light?
would I be assured the path I choose
is the one that’s right?

perhaps I need to get busy
building a garden that is new
one large enough to encompass
souls as big as me & you

copyright © 2017 KPM

last chance

if I’m honest
if I tell you you’re the one
will you run?
will you run?

if I kneel to you
swear forever I’ll be true
what would you do?
what would you do?

will you help me sow love’s seeds?
will you forgive all my past deeds?
will you love a heart that bleeds
or will you run from all my needs?

if I’m truthful
admit I long for you & me
will you flee?
will you flee?

if I’m bare my soul
if I make it clear
will you hear?
will you hear?

underneath an ageless sky
next to you I yearn to lie
time passes with an agonized sigh
those we love one day will die

so if I ask you
on this day
will you stay?
please, tell me you will stay

copyright © 2017 KPM

mornin’ prayers

naked I stand
before my father
‘s another dreich day
‘n I’m wonderin’ “why bother?”

in the shower
I try to pray
will this soap & water
will wash my sins away?

naked before my father
I dress to the sound of rain
do they make clothes to cover
heartache or pain?

Springsteen blarin’
from the speakers
as I try to decide
between boots or sneakers

heavenly,
the sound of that saxophone
my heart throbs
with memories of home

in front of my father
naked I stand
gazin’ into the mirror
I behold a jungle land

copyright © 2017 KPM

confusion

why are you silent, Lord?
why do you not speak?
I’m in need of words of wisdom
for havoc Satan wants to wreak

confusion rules my heart
my brain is full of static
soothe my soul, I beg you
save me from actions erratic

are you listening, Lord?
do you hear your child’s plea?
can you not send some kinda sign –
let me know you’re hearing me?

for grief-riddled I am
plagued by homesickness & loss
& yet the River Jordan
I’m not quite ready to cross

thus I pray to you, O Lord
as I gaze on the sky so blue
speak to me, O Saviour
tell me what you’d have me do

copyright © 2017 KPM

lipstick kisses (for my sister Kim)

she’s punch drunk
sittin’ peaceful in the sun
too-much-wine-with-lunch drunk
& the feelin’ is like fun

today the sun is out
black dog’s asleep – she got no blues
sun’s as warm as her mother’s arms
& the mailman brought good news

from afar the letter came
in an envelope of brown
words from a beloved sister
that made her dance around

& the letter was sealed
with kisses of lipstick
memories of home
pierce like an ice pick

but she’s happy
in spite of this
the familiar handwriting
suffusing her with bliss

remembering secrets
they’d tirelessly share
those times her baby sister
would lovingly braid this author’s hair

she hears tiny footsteps following her
remembers teaching her sister to walk
she can hear her sister’s voice
echoes of their every talk

& now she has a letter
sealed with lipstick kisses
she says a prayer for her little sister
as she smiles & reminisces

lipstick kisses on a letter
like their Mother used to do
from one sister to another
lipstick kisses: “I Love You”

copyright © 2017 KPM

 

love travels

deep & sincere
no drama-school act
it’s vast, her love
yet portable & compact

it dwells in her hair
memory & care
it travels on the air
it’s always there

the blood of her childhood
a flow that never ends
thru veins, marrow & music
travel family & friends

an unbroken chain
sweet as sugar cane
love that does not wane
imprinted on her brain

photos at picnics
laughter, hugs & kisses
a woman with two homes
she thinks of all she misses

the Scottish sun shines gold
she remembers being bold
stripped of her blindfold,
from guilt & grief she’ll be paroled

copyright © 2017 KPM

makin’ tea for John

my baby likes to eat
but on Friday nights, when he’s beat
he likes it light
so I try to do it up right

I play CDs while I wait
dancin’ as I make up a cold plate
done, I’m like “girl, look at you –
that looks like a plate your Mama would do!”

& that makes me smile
(& I cry for a little while)
but I stop, cuz dude’ll soon be here
need to think of other things to serve to my dear

pre-heat the oven, I get out the dishes
still smilin’ & musin’ on old wishes
pizza, crab claws, fish goujons
yeah, me & bae’ll get our eat on

another summer Friday night
(& in my mind I see Mommy, framed by sunlight)
I wait for John, dance to Stanley Clarke
with a heart that – for now – has banished the dark

copyright © 2017 KPM

lost

still grieving,
worried about her overdraft
she feels unsettled,
in need of a life raft

she’s drinkin’ too much
hours she spends, sleepin’
awakening to discover
in her dreams she’s been weepin’

tormented daily
by Satan’s inquisitor
all alone she longs
for someone to visit her

it’s been a week
since her mobile rang
& everyday she jumps
at the mail slot’s clang

copyright © 2017 KPM