72 hours

I took a walk
on the beach tonight
passin’ people drinkin’
by a campfire’s light
there were stars in the sky
they shone so bright
& two of them were my mother’s eyes

under a cold dark sky
I walked in my homeland
listening to the waves
as the kissed the damp sand
still feeling that last touch
of my mother’s hand
beneath the gaze of her starry eyes

someone wake me from this nightmare
I’d like a reprieve
this new reality
I don’t want to believe
my tears mingle with the lake
as all alone I grieve
thinkin’ of my mother’s eyes

copyright © 2017 KPM

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she lives in hope

I wish I knew if others
were like me:
haunted, chased
by memory

slain by a smell that triggers
images of a past wrong
battling tears when the DJ
innocently plays that song

surely there are other
wounded souls like me
seeking a better future
as past wreckage they flee

I try my best to be happy
it’s not an impossible task
& I don’t want your false acceptance –
I don’t need it, nor will I ask

I know I’m not the only one
in life to feel this way
luckily I’m not alone
as I head toward a better day

copyright © 2016 KPM

she-lives-in-hope

 

unintentional

I wanted to cut the grass
but the bleedin’ rain refused to pass
disgruntled,
I accepted that was that
rolled up my sleeves
& began to tidy the flat

cleaning is a quiet task
thus I heard my heartbeat ask
for the telly, some music – any kind of sound
for surcease from thoughts that sought to drown

dunno what came over me
but I put on that CD

18 & unburdened
with no worries, no load
singin’ “fuck you speed limit”
racin’ down a summer road
joyous is the look on your beloved face
as the old car shimmies with the bass

just 25, but I feel old –
heartsick & tired
love’s become a dissenting mass
in which we’re both mired
why get so shitty when I only speak the truth?
so easily shattered, the dreams of my youth

what the hell was I thinkin’ – what came over me?
why ever made me put on that CD?

31 & love is almost done
32 & I’m seekin’ an unmarked pawnshop gun
35 & I can only weep
37 & I’ve forgotten how to sleep
at 40 life grows harder by the day
at 42 I said“to hell with this” – upped sticks & ran away

so many memories
I remember all of them
so many movies
of drunken love at 5am
my present life is happy – I know my new life will last
yet my days & night remain haunted by a bitter past

still, everything remains a vital part of me
useless then to wonder, why I put on that CD

copyright © 2015 KPM

unintentional

Aphrodite’s child revisited

thoughts both beautiful & obscure
a heart as dark as it is pure
the sum of everything she’s sown
is Aphrodite’s child full-grown

lost lovers like so much debris
the strong gnarled arms of her family tree
the reflection of tiny lines on her face
as she grows old in another place

without & within the doors are open
a little wiser & well used to copin’
at childhood’s demise she will not mope
yet loves & writes with childlike hope

she works / she cleans / she cooks / she eats
then dreams at night on crisp linen sheets
unspoken wishes in a brain that’s yearning
dark desires that keep her stomach churning

a woman alone without a womb
at peace in Eden’s grey & green room
where angels look down from the walls
& memory dwells in hallowed halls

she lives with the voices of the ages
& with the Magi regularly engages
no matter that her arteries harden
there is joy amongst the words in her garden

what care she for the grey in her hair –
she, who’s endured the black dog’s glare?
she’s happy with the witch doctor’s pills
& the damp embrace of the Scottish hills

there’s no fear in the mistakes she accepts
just anger & grief & ashen regrets
yet she will fight a wee bit longer
& every battle will make her stronger

rejecting the role, rejoicing in the place
her duelling done with style & grace
demons & tricksters & stealers of hearts
felled at her feet with poison-pen darts

no matter that her waist grows thick
her breasts remain firm & her mind is quick
immune to anybody’s taunts
serenely meeting her needs & wants

barely free, torn between two homes
inside her head she endlessly roams
divided mind with heart still wild
is aging Aphrodite’s child

copyright © 2010-2014 KPM

Aging Aphrodite

involuntary

in bed
fast asleep
she yields control of her brain
a laughing Hypnos
& The Sandman
then drag her down Memory Lane

at first
the dreamy landscape
is filled with naught but bliss
boyish words of love
as she relives
her first gentle kiss

dreaming
her past turns
like the pages of a book
& then
the scenery changes
she’s faced with a darker look

tortured
by the memory
of the first one who lied
she then falls into
the grave
of the first love who died

photos of faces
she’d thought
beneath the carpet she’d swept
blows
& hateful words
swim in the sea of tears she’d wept

the last
the worst betrayal
that came as such a shock
she struggles
with the demon memory
til released by her buzzing clock

copyright © 2014 KPM

involuntary pic

lost & found

they share everything but blood
their memories are the same
he knows her by every name
that she was called

they’ve shared everything but blood
time, space, history
a long-lost childhood mystery
that reaches across the ocean

they see each other in their dreams
each traversing a different path
as they dodge God’s mighty wrath
on their way to forgiveness

lost & found pic

copyright © 2014 KPM